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Children of different ages will react to the
move differently. It is important that you are
attentive to their needs and feelings. More so
than with teens, you'll need to sit down and
discuss the events of your move with younger
children.
Toddlers will be old enough to sense changes
in their environments. Since they spend most of
their days with at least one parent, it's
important not to neglect them. Otherwise, when
they see the house in disarray and gradually
getting emptier, they may worry about being left
behind. Quickly allay their fears by keeping
their favorite toys around and trying to keep as
stable a household as you can during the
planning and packing. As long as toddlers are
comfortable and are close to their parents, they
will not be affected by the move.
Let him pack and tote along some of his
special possessions (do not discard any of them
before the move, no matter how old and tattered
they are).
Elementary school children have developed
relationships with people outside of their
homes. Leaving their friends will be difficult
but the idea of moving to a different place can
be exciting.
Since school is the primary place where
children make friends, children in this
age-range tend to have the easiest time making
friends. They spend most of their time in school
with the same classmates and the same teacher.
Relationships develop naturally.
Children in this age-range should also be
active participants in the move. Allow them to
pack their own belongings. Teach them your new
address and phone numbers right away. After the
move, take the time to show them around their
new neighborhood.
You're readying for a move and you have a
million things to take care of: closing the deal
on your new house or apartment, anticipating
your new job, and scheduling a pick-up, but it
is important that you don't neglect your
children. Take some time to discuss the upcoming
events with them. Children take their cues from
their parents, so make sure that you stay upbeat
and positive throughout. Help them see the move
as an exciting new beginning.
When is the best time to move? Unfortunately,
there is no "best" time to move with your
children. Unless you count moving only after
you've discussed it with your children. Get
their input about the timing of the move. Try to
avoid making your word the law.
It'll be very hard for your teen if you
decide to relocate during their senior year of
high school, right before they graduate.
For your younger children, a move during the
school year will allow them to immediately go
from one social setting into another. They'll be
recieving more attention from classmates and the
teacher as the "new kid." On the other hand, a
summer move may allow your children to become
better acclimated with their surroundings. This
way they won't be thrust into unfamiliar
territory both at school and at home.
Your children may not like the reasons for
the move, but with good communication, they'll
understand them.
You may give them an inch, but make no
mistake about it, they'll take a whole mile.
They may rebel, complain, and even say they
hate you, but when you're moving with your
teens, you must exhibit the patience and
serenity of a Buddhist monk. Especially if they
have to switch schools. Especially high school!
And especially if they have to leave their
friends.
Teenagers have had more time to grow and
develop an attachment with their social
environment. Expect some moping and acting up
early on and expect it to continue as long as a
month after the move.
It'll be easy for you to become irritated and
impatient but it is important that you deal with
your child in the best manner possible. Granted,
they may not want to talk to you right away but
you should always let it be known that you're
available at any time.
And they'll never be alone. How can they in
the age of instant messaging and wireless
phones? They'll be in constant contact with
their friends. These friends, no matter how much
you disapprove of their tattoos and piercings,
only want the best for your child. They'll help
your kids cope by constantly reassuring them and
dishing out advice. Kids understand kids the
best. True you were once their age, but that was
many, many years ago...
You may balk at this hands-off approach, but
chances are, you've raised your children
right.
And here's the kicker: Teens are very
resilient.
Parents just have to weather a few storms
before the realization
hits.
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